A Flame in Your Ed
by Mr. Dusk
Summary: After wandering the wasteland for a month, three young adults find themselves in the ruins of Washington D.C. where they decide to start a new life. Little do they know, the consequences for their past mistakes are not far behind... Ed Edd 'n Eddy in Fallout 3.


**New Eds in Town**

Two raiders were perched behind sandbags looking towards the north, one with a pair of binoculars.

"Marvin, you're not going to believe this, but there's a car headin' this way." said the one with the binoculars.

"Bullshit, when in the hell have you ever seen a working car? Aside from your dreams." replied the other raider.

"I'm tellin' ya, there's a car coming this way, look!" the raider handed the binoculars to the one named Marvin.

"Man, get your dirty shit away from me."

"It's gettin' closer, look!"

Marvin peered out into the distance and saw a bunch of sand moving around.

"It's just a sandstorm you jackass, it ain't no car."

The supposed sandstorm was getting closer to the two raiders, and the faint sound of a radio could be heard from it. The sound got louder and louder as it was accompanied by the sound of an engine. The two raiders could make out the song playing.

"_-he's hackin' and whackin' and smackin'! And he's hackin' and whackin' and smackin'!"_

The pre-war car sped past them, kicking up sand that got into their eyes. The two raiders quickly stood up and shot blindly at the car, missing it mostly but a few stray bullets hit the side of the car. When the sand cleared, the car was off in the distance and the sounds of the engine and radio got quieter until they couldn't hear it.

"Marvin, Marvin, you see that?"

"I fucking saw it, where the fuck did that come from?"

"I dunno, but we ought to go tell Jimbo!"

**XxXxX**

In the speeding car there were three young boys who looked to be in their late teens. The three of them were wearing blue vault-tec uniforms each with a yellow number 57 on their backs but one of them was also wearing a black aviator helmet with goggles. The one driving looked to be the youngest of the three, and he was rather short, chubby and had a black mohawk. Sitting next to him was the one with the aviator helmet who was more scrawny than the other two. Laying down in the back was a rather tall boy with a auburn crew cut who had slept through the attack on the car.

"Were we just shot at?" screamed the boy with the black aviator helmet, "We were shot at, they found us!"

The scrawny boy was slapped by the driver, "Double-D get a hold of yourself, it was probably just some raiders!"

"That's even worse, don't you know what they do to people?"

"Yeah, that's why we're not stopping!"

The younger boy floored the gas pedal, causing the pre-war car to roar across the wasteland. The car swerved to avoid debris from fallen buildings and highway, and a bunch of large mutated mole rats.

"Eddy you're going to get us killed!" screamed the boy known as Double-D.

"Alright, alright, keep your helmet on!"

The boy called Eddy took his foot off the pedal and allowed the car to slow down to a more calmer speed.

"How far away do you think we are now?" asked the driver.

The passenger saw something in the distance, "I'd say we're pretty far Eddy, look!"

The other boy pointed out the window, and the driver followed his finger. Many called it The Wasteland for a reason, there was mostly a whole lot of nothing as far as the eye could see. Here and there you'd see the remains of what was once a house, or a tree, or even a dried up lake, but rarely would you see anything to make a note of.

What that young man saw outside the windshield that day was a sight he may never forget. An actual city, tons of buildings from the Old World. Buildings that were still standing even after centuries of harsh circumstances. But more than that was the remains of the Washington monument, erected high up right in sight over the wasteland for all to see.

"You gotta be kidding me, we're near Washington D.C.?"

"It would appear so, we're much far away now, perhaps we can finally-"

Suddenly, more gunshots rang out. This time by a group of three men wearing armor with a logo hat looked like a bird's talon. Some of them shot at the car with laser guns.

"Mercs!" the driver yelled as he swerved to the right and headed west along the river.

"It's day after day with these assassins, why can't they just leave us alone?" complained the boy with the aviator helmet.

The short boy slammed his foot on the break and the car zoomed away from the attackers. The passenger breathing heavily as they swerved past more rubble. To shake the men with guns off, Eddy turned the car onto a bridge and went across. They went down a new road, passing up a Super-Duper Mart and the ruins of what may as well be office buildings.

After driving south and to the west a bit, the car started to slow down, even though Eddy still had his foot on the pedal.

"Move you piece of junk, move!" he screamed as he stamped on the pedal.

The old car slowed to a stop. The skinny boy known as Double-D started sweating, "Why did we stop, why are we stopping, what's wrong with the car?"

Eddy turned the key in the ignition and heard the dying sound of the engine. He turned the key again and again but got nothing.

"What the hell is wrong with this thing?" the shorter boy yelled.

"Oh no...don't tell me that it's out of power!" Double-D realized.

"What?"

"This vehicle runs on energy cells, it looks like we just ran out."

"Well, we ain't stopping now!" Eddy turned towards the back and started shaking the passenger laying down, "Hey Ed, wake up!"

The tall boy with one eyebrow yawned, turned his head and smiled, "Hi Eddy, good morning!"

"Ed, get your ass outside and push the car, we gotta-"

Double-D covered Eddy's mouth. The angry boy made a muffled argument but the scrawny boy motioned with his hand that there was something outside. He had seen a figure approaching them, tall, big, with a glowing head. Mechanical gears could be heard as it moved.

Eddy froze as he saw this mechanical being, the only working robot he had ever seen was a Mister Handy back at the Vault and that one had a tendency to "malfunction" and attack the three of them at times. At least, that's what its owners claimed what happened. The short boy reached for the 10mm pistol he had kept from their escape of the Vault, but the robot was right there next to them.

"Welcome to Megaton, friendliest town around." said a slow computer voice.

"Huh?" Eddy breathed out.

"Ya'll be careful with that thar weapon, ya hear?" the robot told him, referring to the pistol.

"Cool, a RobCo protectron!" Ed squeed and he stepped out of the pre-war car, took out a camera and got a picture of himself with it.

"Ed now's not the time for a selfie, get away from that thing!" Eddy yelled as he aimed the gun at the robot.

Double-D stopped him, "Eddy wait, the robot hasn't shot at us yet, I think we're okay."

The robot turned towards Ed, "Welcome to Megaton, the bomb is perfectly safe, we promise."

"Wait, a bomb?" the skinny boy asked.

"The bomb is perfectly safe." the protectron repeated. The two boys in the car looked past the robot to see a huge wall of metal, seemingly made out of airplane parts by the looks of it. The tall boy outside the car walked up to the wall.

"Hey guys, check this out!" Ed called out as the huge hunk of metal in front of the robot and car started to give way to reveal a door behind all the plane engines.

The two boys inside the car looked at one another for a moment.

"Think we should scope things out?" asked the shorter one.

"Hmm, if there's any chance of getting some energy cells, it'd be higher inside the massive wall of metal, plus it'd be a lot safer than randomly wandering outside of it." answered the skinny one.

"Ed, we're going inside!" Eddy called out as he and the boy with the aviator helmet got out of the car and opened up the trunk.

"Okay!"

"But look, it might be dangerous so get over here and grab a- and he's gone."

Double-D took out a bag from the trunk, "I'm sure he'll be fine Eddy, he's the same boy who got shot nine times and still managed to carry us quite a distance after we were rendered unconscious."

Eddy grumbled as he took out a small box half full of ammo for his gun, plus some miscellaneous items they had found, "The least he could do was help carry some of this junk."

"Think we'll see any traders in there?" the shorter boy grabbed a small marble bag that had a fistful of Nuka-Cola bottle caps in it, the currency of the wasteland.

"Perhaps," the boy with the aviator helmet pointed towards a worn-out tool in the trunk, "bring that tire iron as well, Ed could certainly use that." .

"Yeah, as a wake-up to reality, I'll smack him upside the head with it."

"You will not."

"Of course I won't, I still need him as a human shield."

There was silence for a few seconds, and then the two started laughing.

"That's not really funny, you know." Double-D reminded him.

"Yeah it is!" Eddy told him as he slung a duffel bag over his shoulder and shut the trunk. The two headed for the metal door.

"Remember, we don't want any trouble, we're just travelers looking for some help and to trade some supplies so don't turn this into another Illinois truck-stop."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it."

The two went through the metal door and saw what looked like a rather decent setup for a town. There was quite a number of buildings, all of which looked to be made out of the same metal material as the giant metal wall. There was a handful of what looked like houses, a restaurant close by called The Brass Lantern with a few patrons eating outside, a clinic right next to it, what looked like a church next to what looked like a nuclear warhead, a water pump station above that, a store with the name Craterside Supply, and near the back was what looked like a seedy bar. Or rather, as seedy as a wasteland settlement gets.

There were several people walking around, mostly adults but there were at least two kids running around. The most troubling thing the two saw was a small crowd of people gathering around the bomb.

Last of all, they found their companion talking to a tall dark skinned man with a goatee wearing a cowboy hat, duster, and carrying a Chinese assault rifle who looked to be loosing his patience.

Their almost as tall friend was rambling on while making exaggerated hand gestures, "...and then Eddy shot back at them like BLAM BLAM BLAM and since he used VATS he managed to actually hit one of the raiders in the arm!"

The darker skinned man looked past Ed at the new arrivals and groaned, "Just my damn luck, first that old guy, then some whining girl, and now these three annoying teenagers...is this Fuck with Lucas Day or something?"

The monobrow boy turned around and waved at his friends, "I made a new friend!"

Double-D rushed over and gently shoved Ed away, "I apologize for Edward, he can be...eccentric."

"Is that what you call it?" asked the cowboy.

"I hope he didn't paint a bad picture of the three of us."

Eddy took Ed aside, saying that he had something to show him.

"Mmhmm, so which one are you, the shooter or the fixer?"

"Oh, my name is Eddward, that's with two D's instead of one that my friend there has."

Eddy showed Ed the tire iron that he got from the boot of the car.

"You didn't answer my question, do you like to shoot people or do you fix things?"

"Oh, sorry, I fix things, my parents were maintenance workers you see and they'd bring me along-"

"Okay, okay, no need for the life story bullshit."

"I see you've met Ed, the one with him is Eddy."

Ed lowered his head, and Eddy smacked him with the tire iron.

"Well aren't you quite the circus act, the name's Lucas Simms, mayor of Megaton and town sheriff on occasion."

Edd was taken aback, "Ah, I had no idea I was speaking to a town official."

Lucas shrugged, "Well, it ain't an official post, I just figure someone ought to keep the peace, might as well be me."

Ed was rubbing his head where Eddy had hit him, complaining about the pain. Eddy berated him and handed over a healing agent called a Stimpak.

"I see, so, Megaton...there's a bomb here?"

"Yeah, this town was built around one of them old-world nuclear warheads that didn't go off after it hit the ground."

"Oh, so the bomb isn't active?"

"I didn't say that," Lucas went into a quieter voice, "I'm trying not to let this be well-known, but the bomb is _still active,_ this town and the people in it are in _real danger_ as long as it's around."

"Then why not just move the damn thing?" Eddy chipped in, having dealt with Ed.

Lucas groaned, "Because there's this weird cult that's worshiping it, they call themselves the Children of Atom, they'd freak out the second I try to get the manpower together to push it out of town."

"Then why not just deactivate it?" suggested Double-D.

"Nobody in town has the know-how to do something like that, almost everyone knows how to throw a grenade but almost none of us know how they work."

"Ooh, Double-D can do it, he knows lots of stuff!" Ed cheered.

The town sheriff raised an eyebrow, "You know how to work a bomb?"

The thin boy scratched the back of his head, "Well, I dabbled a bit in explosives back in the Vault for a hobby..."

The chubby put an arm around his friend, "Yeah, Double-D here can fix your warhead problem...for a price."

"Eddy, what are you doing?" Edd asked in a whisper.

"Taking advantage of the situation."

The mayor grunted, "Fine, if your friend here can disarm the bomb, I'll pay ya 100 caps, how does that sound?"

"Deal!" Eddy shook hands with Lucas, "By the way, while helmet head here is taking care of your problem, do you know a place where a man like me can get a drink around here?"

The sheriff narrowed his eyes, "Aren't you a bit too young to be drinking?"

"Hey, I carry a gun, I'm old enough to drink whatever I damn well please."

With a chuckle, the tall man pointed towards a building on the other side of town. "Over there is a place called Moriarty's, but keep a hand on your caps, and your gun while you're there, Moriarty is not your friend, remember that."

The short teen grabbed his taller friend, "Come on big guy, how does drinking up a pint sound to you?"

Ed smiled, "Like when we broke into that liquor cabinet?"

"Sure, but without that expensive wine."

The two made their way towards Moriarty's, leaving their scrawny friend behind.

"I suppose I'll just make my way towards that bomb...do you think those people down there will give me any trouble?"

"Just as long as you don't interrupt the speech, I think you'll be fine, just don't accidentally blow up the town or you'll have worse than that warhead to worry about."

**XxXxX**

The tall and short Eds walked into Moriarty's, which looked to be the wasteland's standard of classy with the dirty floors, the dirty walls, the dirty stools, the dirty-looking woman who may as well be a hooker, and the dirty-looking man with rotted-off skin (who were given the name Ghoul in the wasteland) tending bar who kept banging on the radio. There were three other patrons in this bar, one was a blonde woman who was sitting alone looking worried. Another was a sharply dressed man who sat alone in a different section of the bar who seemed to motion the Eds over in a suspicious manner. What caught Eddy's eye however was the young lady sitting at the bar wearing a Vault-Tec jumpsuit with the number 101 on it.

The two took a seat on bar stools next to the girl, the bartender ghoul stopped banging on the radio to take their orders, "What'll it be smoothskins?"

"Yeah buddy, just get us a couple of beers." Eddy put a few caps on the counter for payment.

"Wait...you're not gonna hit me or yell at me or something?"

"Why would we do that?" asked Ed.

"I get treated like shit all the time in this town just because I look like a corpse." the ghoul handed over a couple of bottles from behind the bar, "Here, these is on me."

"Wow, thanks!" the tall youngster twisted open the bottle and chugged the beer in one go, "Ahhh, that hit the spot, more please!"

"The next round is gonna cost you caps."

"Eddy, I need some caps!"

"Go find your own, freeloader!" his shorter friend told him.

"Okay!" Ed got off his stool and started crawling on the floor, presumably to look for caps.

Eddy himself decided to enjoy his free beer while sneaking looks at the pretty young woman wearing the Vault 101 jumpsuit. Up close, he could appreciate the medium length sandy blonde hair, hazel eyes, and the small freckles speckled across her short nose. She looked to be around the Eds' age, if not a bit older, and was carrying a 10mm pistol in a holster just like Eddy was. The difference being her gun holster being wrapped around more slender, refined leg.

"Let me guess, you aren't from around here either?" asked the girl, snapping the voyeur out of his trance.

The short boy put down his drink, "Huh, How did you know?"

"Well, you're wearing a jumpsuit from a vault."

Eddy looked down at what he was wearing, then back up, "Oh, right, well, you could say that." he said, trying to be smooth.

The young lady, eyed his jumpsuit closer, "Vault 57...where exactly is that?"

"It's kinda west actually, far west."

The girl looked to be in thought for a moment, her chin resting on a cupped hand, "So what are you doing way out here?"

The boy shook his hand in front of his face, "Eh, it's a long story, let's just say that one small mistake can make huge consequences for you and your friends, by the way, the name's Eddy."

She smiled, "I'm Joanna, nice to meet you."

In the other room of the bar, Ed was on all fours trying to find some loose caps. He had no such luck, not today anyway. Instead he felt something tapping his back and looked up to see the sharply dressed man who beckoned him and Eddy earlier.

"My, my, just when I had all but given up hope, my dear boy, I am very happy to make your acquaintance, I am Mister Burke."

The tall boy got off the floor and stood up, towering over the sitting man, "Hi Mister Burke, my name is Ed!"

Burke kept his strange grin, "And you, well, you are not a resident of this putrescent cesspool, that makes you a rather valuable individual."

Ed was a bit confused, "What do you mean?"

The man sighed, "Great, another imbecile, let me make this easy, I work for certain interests who wish to see this town, this 'Megaton,' wiped off the map." Mister Burke reached inside his jacket, "I have something called a Fusion Pulse Charge, I want you to put it on that giant bomb outside and detonate it at a secure location, there is an easy 500 caps in it for you."

"Wait, you want to blow it up? Sorry, can't do that."

"What's the matter, are you turning yellow or do you really care about the putrid lot that live here?"

"No, it's just that my friend Double-D is deactivating the bomb so it won't be able to explode."

Mister Burke took a minute to register this information, he slowly rose out of his chair and peered outside a dusty bar window to see the skinny boy in the aviator helmet tinkering with the still-active warhead.

"Ah, I see, excuse me then."

The shifty man stood up fully and started to head for the exit, and Ed noticed that the man was carrying a silenced 10mm pistol. It was at that moment that the normally slow-thinking boy had a burst of intelligence as he realized that one of his friends was in grave danger.

Ed charged at Mr. Burke and smashed the senior down onto the saloon floor. A cloud of rust lifted from the ground and the weakened metal surface cracked and dented. With Mr. Burke knocked to the floor, Ed began to grab and try to gain a hold of the wicked man, not playing around in the slightest. The boy made sure to clasp Mr. Burke's wrists as he climbed over the man, making sure he had full control over Mr. Burke so he couldn't harm his friend.

"Ed, what the fuck are you doing?" Eddy roared, seeing the kerfuffle taking place.

"He's going to kill Double-D!" Ed shouted as Mr. Burke managed to lift one of his legs up and kick him right in the face.

"Oh like hell the old man is," Eddy proclaimed, getting out of his seat.

"Eat lead shithead!" exclaimed Mr. Burke as he lodged his pistol right into Ed's shoulder blade. As his finger was about to squeeze the trigger, another hand grabbed hold of him and aimed the gun off into the ceiling. Mr. Burke ended up wasting a few shots, blasting some bullet holes through the saloon roof as Eddy then ripped the gun right out of his hands. "That's it, you kids are dead!"

"Come on Ed, let's knock this fucker down," Eddy said as he tossed the 10mm pistol at Gob, who caught it.

"Fucking smoothskins, I swear..." Gob commented as he set the gun down on the counter and continued watching the brawl taking place along with the patrons at the saloon.

Ed and Eddy both managed to flip Mr. Burke over, now with the old man's stomach resting against the ruin floor. Ed performed a standing arm-bar, locking his legs around Mr. Burke's left arm as he yanked up, crippling it completely. Eddy then pulled back Mr. Burke's right leg far back enough for it to snap the bone inside. Yet while the senior man was clearly in pain, his face did not express anything, not even the slightest bit of agony or rage.

With his functioning right arm, Mr. Burke landed a cheap blow to Ed's groin, causing the large teen to release his grasp and tumble backwards, cringing. He then rolled onto his back again and then delivered a smashing strike to Eddy's hip with his left leg, shattering it. Unlike Mr. Burke, the two boys yelped in pain, both taken aback by the senior man's surprising amount of strength he had at his old age. "Had enough, boy?" Mr. Burke asked as he got up and walked towards Eddy. His right arm grabbed Eddy by the neck, picking the stout teen up. Mr. Burke then slammed Eddy against the wall of the saloon and plowed his head through it.

"Eddy!" Ed roared as he shook off the critical hit and rushed at Mr. Burke. He slid, Ed's feet crashing against Mr. Burke's ankles, causing the old man to collapse to the floor again. Ed pushed himself back up, only for Mr. Burke to turn around and jab at Ed in the chest, stunning the ogre of a boy in his tracks.

"It's a good thing I have back-up," Mr. Burke said, pulling out another 10mm pistol from his coat pocket. He aimed it at Ed's forehead and was more than ready to have a small bit of metal get embedded within the large teen's skull.

"That's it!" Eddy screamed as he ripped his head out of the saloon wall, now red with rage and blood. Mr. Burke paused for one second to look at Eddy, who breathed down at him, fuming with anger. Before he could even blink, a powerful punch to the head caused another loud breaking noise. As Mr. Burke's head landed on the floor, his neck experienced a monster whiplash, snapping it as the evil man would only see darkness from now on.

Not long after that, the door to the back office opened up and out came a middle-aged man with messy white hair and a matching goatee, a certain gleam in his eyes suggested a man of "legitimate business" but the kind that doesn't normally end with mass murder.

"What in the hell is with all that banging?" the man asked as he strode out of the office in a thick Irish accent, "Goddammit Gob, I leave the bar for one fucking minute for a smoke and half the place is trashed?"

Gob motioned towards Ed and Eddy, "Those kids caused it boss, and it looks like they finally took care of that dick Burke." he replied, contently washing a glass.

"Did they now?" Presumably the saloon owner looked over the bar to see Mister Burke's dead body, "Good riddance, all that bastard did was sit and smoke, scarin' away me customers." the man walked over to the other side of the bar.

Joanna then spoke up, "Excuse me, are you Colin Moriarty? I need to speak with you about-"

"In a moment lass, I need to get something squared away." Moriarty looked down at the floor and over to the wall, calculating the damage in his head. He then looked back to the Eds, "Well now, you two boys certainly caused quite a mess for me, now who do you suppose is going to clean this up?"

"You?" asked Ed, Eddy elbowed him in the gut.

"Actually, Gob is," the bartender ghoul grunted at that, "but seein' that your little fight has caused damages to my fine establishment, I'm gonna foot you two the bill...unless you want the sheriff to know that you killed a man in cold blood."

Eddy didn't like being on the wrong side of blackmail, he quickly went through his pockets and produced his bag of bottle caps and handed it to Moriarty. The saloon owner opened the bag and poured the contents on the bar, "Loose change, you'll have to do better than that."

"Ed, empty your pockets."

The two dumped their separate inventories onto the counter, most of it being junk that found their way onto the already littered floor of the saloon. The few things Moriarty liked, the handgun, ammunition, and tire iron; stayed on the bar counter. The owner glared back at the two boys, "Well lads, it looks like I'll have to get Simms up here..."

"Oh come on! That's all we have!" Eddy complained.

"Please, have mercy oh pub owner, they have soap in prison!" Ed cried, begging on his hands and knees.

Moriarty took a moment to consider the situation, "How about this, I'll just sweep this unfortunate little accident under the rug...but in return I expect a small favor out of you two."

The shorter Ed raised an eyebrow, "What do you want from us?" he asked.

"Come see me tomorrow mornin', I'll give ye the details then." Moriarty started pocketing the items that were left on the counter, "For now, I'll be keeping these as collateral, and don't even think about running out of town if you know what's good for you."

"Oh thank you, thank you so much!" Ed cried as he bowed to Moriarty, he was dragged up by his shorter friend.

"C'mon Ed, we're leaving." Eddy grunted, the pain in his head coming at him after the adrenaline wore off.

**XxXxX**

"I'll be damned, you really disarmed that thing!" cheered Lucas Simms.

Edd nodded and dusted off his hands, "Wasn't a problem, just a few wires removed here and a few others crossed and what was once a nuclear weapon of devastation has become as harmless as a non-mutated fly."

By then, the other two Eds appeared on the scene, "You done with that bomb thing yet?" asked Eddy.

The sheriff handed over a pouch of caps to the skinny boy, "Here's your reward, hell, why don't you all move in?" Simms produced a key and a slip of paper from his duster, "Could use a few more guys like you, and we just happen to have an empty place here you can use, here's the key and deed."

Double-D put up a hand in protest, "Oh we couldn't-"

Eddy snatched both items, "Yes we can, thanks sheriff."

Simms nodded and walked back to his post, Eddy started leading the other two Eds to the empty house described in the deed.

"Eddy, we were only here to get supplies!" complained the helmet boy.

"Change of plans, we're going to be staying in this town for a bit longer than we thought." responded the stout leader of the group.

"Good Lord, what did you get us into this time?"

"Nothing, I just figured we'd rest up for a while, Ed and I here are tired from all the car travel."

"Plus, we have to-oof!" Ed was cut off with Eddy stepping on his foot.

"Ed, watch where you're walking." Eddy scolded, hinting at him to not spill the beans this time around.

The three Eds went into their Megaton home, and were greeted by a large, spherical shaped machine with many monitors and tools connected to it. The robot hovered to them, and spoke in a sophisticated computerized voice. "Allow me to introduce myself, I am Wadsworth, your personal robotic butler, I am here to look after your needs and to keep you happy and entertained, what can I do for you?"

Eddy groaned at the sight of another robot, "Make yourself comfortable boys, we're gonna be here a while..."

"Another robot, this one's a Mr. Handy model, like Jimmy used to have!" Ed went right over to Wadsworth, took out his pre-war camera, and took another snapshot of him with a robot.

Edd sighed, "Please be respectful to A.I. Ed..."


End file.
